Academy Awards RIP

In an effort to make their Academy Awards seem more relevant, or popular, or something, the Academy is now calling them the Oscars like almost everyone else already did. They need to do something more to keep me awake past ten PM.

It used to be that I had seen many of the nominated films. Today, I have not seen a single one. Why?

Partially because we prefer spending money on live theatre. Partially because we don’t have a lot to spend now, and we know that films will be out on DVD or Netflix or cable TV eventually. Partially because my wife believes that we’ll bring home bedbugs. Partially because going to a noisy theatre often isn’t as satisfying as watching at home with a pause button. And finally, partially because we have so many other entertainment options at this point in history.

I’ll have to see Lincoln and the Life of Pi some day. Argo and Zero Dark Thirty are supposed to be very well made films, but Argo credits the CIA with rescuing hostages when in fact the Canadians were more instrumental. There is some debate over whether Zero Dark Thirty credits torture with leading to the killing of Osama Bin Laden, or simply relates that torture was in the quiver during the Bush-Cheney era. I’ll probably see Django Unchained on Spike TV in a few years, Silver Linings Playbook on Lifetime, and Les Miserables on A&E.

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